Language

Kafi's friend from college and sorority sister from the east coast/south came to town to visit and on our way to the get something to eat her first day, we were stopped at the light and she said "Why do I not hear the engine?" We explained that we have a hybrid and that the engine shuts off at red lights. She exclaimed "That's so California! I love it!" That inspired this blog entry, the difference between the Bay Area and Wall Street.

Diversity
Bay Area it means having black people on staff

Wall Street it means a stock portfolio with mid cap and large cap companies and moderate to aggressive funds

Agreement
Bay Area it means a ground rule for a workshop like "no put downs", etc.

Wall Street it means 14 pages of policies and procedures detailing your brokerage firms feduciary relationship with your account

Illegal Trade
Bay Area it means selling weed.... and you might get a ticket

Wall Street it means selling stock.... and you might go to jail

COOP
Bay Area it means a housing commune next to the University

Wall Street it means an extremely expensive building that even very rich people get turned down to buy into

Rally
Bay Area it means a protest, usually a war or something

Wall Street it means a Bull run of stocks prices going up

Equity
Bay Area it means black and brown people having access to resources typically reserved for whites

Wall Street it means the value of a house above what you paid for it

Green
Bay Area it means redwoods, oceans, animals, and sustainable business practices that reduce or zero out the carbon imprint.

Wall Street it means cold hard cash

Reparations

I was reading in the latest Jet and it mentioned that Congress just passed an official apology for slavery. This is great news on 2 fronts. 1. Because slavery was bad, Reconstruction failed miserably, and Jim Crow took us backwards, taking a century to recover. 2. Because an official apology is a legal admission of "guilt", the first step in establishing a legal basis for suing the U.S. Government for reparations for Black people.

I am all for it. People nowadays say all kind of wishy washy stuff like, "reparations should take the form of education, health care, jobs, mental health, etc. etc. blah, blah, blah. I whole heartedly disagree. I want a check. You can call it a reparations stimulus check. Why not? Japanese people got a check. Native Americans got casinos TAX FREE!! Black people need a check. Sure, do all that other stuff too, but cut the check.

Some people say, "Oh, Black people don't need no check, they will just spend it on Newports and rims and gamble the rest away" as Dave Chappelle so vividly protrayed in one of his famous skits. But I have an answer to that too. Make the checks like WIC checks. You can't spend them on alcohol, rims, tobacco, real sugary cereal, etc. My message to those of you against the whole idea (most white people): Why fight it? This will eliminate Black peoples right to complain ever again. Think about it, your response to everything can be "But we apologized and gave you reparations, what more do you want?" Plus, I will let you in on a little secret: The government can afford it so you got nothing to lose. (except the value of the dollar tanking but let's not get all into those details) The mint prints the money. They did it for the Iraq and Afgan wars and they were NOT appreciated. If you do this for Blacks, you can legitimately be free of the guilt of slavery and still not lose one iota of white privilege. Think about it.

'Divorce Vows' Part 2

Not long ago my wife Kafi reiterated our sacred divorce vows, http://familylife-oakland.blogspot.com/2008/07/divorce-vows.html drafted in our first few years of marriage. In the unlikely event of our matrimonial seperation, I would basically get to keep about 20% of my income (the rest going to child support, alimony, car payments, facials, etc.) and my bike. This is actually a great deal considering gas prices. And although I am not as rich as Russell Simmons gardner, I like what he said about his settlement with Kimora when they seperated and he agreed to pay something like $20,000... per month...... per child. He said (I am paraphrasing) 'my children live a great life and my wife coordinates that and I am happy to provide for that'. Great attitude Russell. That's how I feel. If I get $375 take home after all my payments, I am more than happy to live off of top ramen in a studio, knowing that my children are being provided for properly. That is how committed a father and husband (or ex-husband in this case) I am.
I do have one amendment to the vows. I want to include my stand up pump and helmet to the settlement. Safety first.

Talking up Obama

Although I am enthusiastically voting for Barack Obama this November and his candidacy is truly groundbreaking for this country, I have noticed that in almost every conversation I have with people, no matter where and no matter with whom, Barack Obama is mentioned. Don't get me wrong. I like the guy and half the time I am the one to interject him into the conversation, but I started to notice how he is mentioned even if the conversation has nothing to do with the presidential race, black people, or racism (the main 3 cross referenced topics according to relevance).

I could be at Trader Joes asking about juice and someone would say, "but ever since Obama is running for president, maybe you should get the tangerine juice." or I see someone I haven't seen in a year and they say, "How are you doing? How's your family? Oh you had another baby? That's great because the Obama rally is tomorrow. Peace out." What is this phenomena? Is it just me and the people I come in contact with or does this happen nationwide? Good or bad, people are talking constantly about the guy.

True story: I was looking at these baby t-shirts at the Alameda fair. White guy (collecting signatures for something) walks up and asks me if I am a registered voter in Alameda. I say "No". He looks at me and says, "Oh, you're looking at those Barack Obama t-shirts? cool huh?" With this grin on his face. I say "No, I am not. I am looking at the 'I'm 4 years old, what's your excuse' t-shirts because I have a 4 year old." He looks at me like not only am I lying but I must be a traitor to the Black people for not exaulting Obama at every possible opportunity.
Another thing I noticed: Obama t-shirts are fast replacing funeral t-shirts or Tupac t-shirts in popularity.
I have seen over 285 different Obama t-shirt designs with catchy slogans. You have seen them: "This momma loves Obama", or "Barack the Vote" or my favorite "Donate a dollar, and he'll make change, vote Obama" (Okay, I made that last one up and am trying to sell it to his campaign but they won't return my phone calls.) Seriously, I know a few folks selling the shirts.... exclusively, like that's their new job.

Today I saw an old black man holding a concealed tall can of something (It quite possibly could have been an Arizona Iced Tea beverage but I couldn't tell) and he was in front of the corner store sporting his Obama t-shirt. (Be there with me: This was a scene where the brotha would have normally been wearing a R-Kelly or Michael Jordan shirt with the diamonds on it) Folks who have never been politically active and still may not be politically active are wearing his t-shirt and talking him up every chance they can get. (or don't get)

Then I noticed that as a parent, all I do, especially when I am with my wife is talk about my sons. The Nations obsession with talking about Obama is very similar to how proud parents are obsessed with talking about their children. If you want to have a long conversation with me, ask me about Elijah and how we plan to homeschool him. You will get a 20 minute opening from me just for starters. And just like America is with Obama, the topic of conversation can be anything in the world and I will find a way to bring it back to my child.

So with that realization I have made peace that win or lose, Obama and his t-shirts are here to stay.

'White Liberal Blind Spot' part 2

This is what I am talking about. He sees NOTHING wrong with telling his student "Sit down nigga!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XURRzofbMc0

White Power!

The other day I saw an article where Bill Clinton proclaimed that he was not a racist. (reminicent of Nixon saying "I am not a crook" right before he resigned as President) I said to myself "Of course Bill Clinton is not racist, he's a white supremacist."

This prompted me to dialogue with my wife a bit about how obvious white supremacy is to most black people and how blind white folks are to it. I was remarking how some liberal, 'my best friend is black, I DATE black men/women, I love jazz AND smoke weed' white folks have what I coined as the 'white liberal blind spot'. This is where they have shifted their conscious lens to shun overtly racist notions about black folks to extremely subtle racist assumptions and notions that are so benign and politically correct that it cannot be called racist without having white people fall out and have a fit.

So I stay away from the term 'racist'. It's too loaded and emotionally charged for white people and black people. White supremacist is much more accurate and prescriptive. Take for example the brutal murder of Emmett Till. The white people in Mississippi where Emmett was killed, rejected the notion that the state was racist. They even criticized the murderers as white trash and ignorant crackers. BUT if you asked them did they think whites were superior to blacks they would have said "well, of course whites are better than nigrahs. It says it in the biba (bible)...." Even today, liberal presidential candidate Ralph Nader said that Obama was 'talking white'. Can you say 'white liberal blindspot'?.

So you see, racist is a term that just won't do. It's counterproductive and only invokes a fierce defensiveness on the part of white folks "Me a racist?! Just because I am white?! That's racist!!"(white liberal blind spot) and an apocalyptic frustration among blacks "Why do I even try, white folks are hopeless, that's why I hate white people, etc...". Plus it's too vague and gets thrown around too much. What exactly is racism and who can be racist, etc. etc. Then there's the institutional racism, individual racism, environmental racism, etc. It's just all too much. Everything is racist but nobody can be pinpointed as exhibiting racism. It's just not effective for black people to use the term anymore.

The term white supremacy is tangible and rooted in an exact definition with clear cut indicators. In fact, I have created a diagnostic questionnaire for white people to see if they are white supremacist or not. It goes like this:

You are a white supremacist if:


1. You have ever used the term 'pulling the race card'


2. You are always explaining things to black people... and they haven't asked you


3. Your response to anything a black person ever says is "yeah, yeah I know"


4. You feel that pro-black is automatically anti-white


5. You consider a suicide bombing terrorism but not slavery or the extermination of the Native Americans


6. You assume every black person you meet is voting for Barack Obama (we are, but that is still racist, I mean white supremacist)


7. You say that you are 'colorblind' or that you don't see color (except of course when you are choosing who to sit next to on the Train or Bus)


8. You think black people are overly sensitive about race


9. You think affirmative action is no longer needed


10. You think most drug dealers are black


11. You think black people need your help


12. You love Michael Jordan but hate Tiger Woods or the Williams sisters


13. You think Larry Bird was better than Magic Johnson


14. You still think Elvis invented Rock and Roll


15. You see a problem with black people voting for Obama because he is black but never questioned white people NOT voting for Obama because he is black (say it with me: 'white liberal blind spot')


16. You close your eyes and think of a scientist and a white person pops in your head


17. You hear about a robbery or shooting and assume it is a black person


18. You were voting for Hillary and now you are voting for McCain


19. If you have to say 'I am not a racist'

The main problem with white supremacy as a term is that it is too long. Racist is short and has a nice ring to it. So I am putting out a call for suggestions on how to shorten, abbreviate or substitute the term white supremacy if it's possible. Otherwise, I am afraid it will never catch on. In this age of abbreviations like WaMu, FedEx, WiFi, B of A, and Bradgelina, a full term just won't hold. So, I came up with some potential terms with a range of appeal:

1. WiSu (corporate appreviation)

2. WS (standard initial abbreviation)

3. Patriotism (metaphorical term)

4. W>B (mathematical term)

5. A White Supreme (Jazz term)

6. White Rules (reality TV term)

7. White Power! (parody term)

So think about it and get back to me with your suggestions. We will vote on it in November.

Flossin'

Since my children have been born I have been to the doctor and dentist dozens of times but only a few times for myself. My wonderful wife went to the dentist a few weeks ago and convieniently scheduled me for a cleaning and check up. When my appointment was a week away I suddenly realized: Every year for as long as I can remember, when I go to the dentist, the hygenist asks the 2 simple questions: How often do you brush? and how often do you floss? Well, I brush my teeth dutifully every day but flossin'? I'm sorry, I just don't floss. Don't get me wrong. I like the idea. I understand the importance of it. I have a box of floss in my glove compartment, all over the house. I just don't floss. So when they ask me that question I usually say, "every now and then" They reply with more precise interrogation techniques asking me "how many times a week?" I reply with the "sometimes... sometimes a couple times a month" (this is a lie because it's less than that). When it's clear that I simply don't floss, they start in with the speech: "blah blah blah, you'll get gum disease, blah blah blah, your teeth will fall out, blah blah blah". This effectively shames me but does absolutely nothing to alter my behavior.

So, I resolve that I will floss my teeth every day for a week so that they won't even ask the question and if they do I can say in all honesty "I flossed every day this week..." However, 6 days go by and I didn't floss not one time. Then I decide something for the first time in my life. I decide I am going to stand up to my hygenist. I start preparing a speech in my head "You know, I'm 34 years old. I take care of my family. I am a faithful and devoted husband and father. I just don't floss. Some black men don't wear condoms. Some people never wear seatbelts. Some people drink malt liquor. I don't floss. If I can live with it, then dammit, you should take your copay and put some mint on the tooth buffer, clean my teeth like I am paying you to do and keep the guilt speech to yourself. When I get gingivitis, then maybe I'll start flossing. Until then, it ain't broke so I ain't trying to fix nothing.

When I went to the dentist today, my hygenist actually didn't ask the questions! She cleaned my teeth and never said a word. Could I really be grown now? No more interrogation? No more guilt trip? Yeah, I'm a grown ass man and I don't floss.