For the first time in my adult life, broke people are the most secure people in this economy. With a comfortable pot to piss in and not much else, I find this whole "financial crisis" comical. With over 100 murders, mostly black on black, in Oakland, the real danger and threat is someone popping a cap in my ass. High gas don't scare me. Frozen credit don't phaze me either. I live hand to mouth. Check come in, belly full, metro cut back on. Sure we got a little retirement saved up but by the time we can even start drawing early retirement, there will be affordable commercial space shuttle flights and a Tongan female president.
The working class has the social upper hand. You can't fall from the floor. These execs on wall street will face severe depression when they are forced to fly coach or can't afford the country club membership. Traffic accidents will increase in Manhattan as they start driving their own cars. Zoloft stock is probably going through the roof. I derive a sick pleasure from the financial meltdown even if it effects me directly. My bank failed yesterday and got taken over and bought up. I was more facinated than worried, like looking at a meteor shower. I am well under the $100,000 max that the Feds insure deposits up to. I'm broke and loving it.
Is it just me or does this bailout feel like blackmail from the banks? Or more like a stick up. "Gimme your money or I'll collapse! ..... and not be able to collect on loans that you defaulted on because you couldn't affort my increasing interest" ?????
Ummmm, I'll pass. Go ahead and collapse. Let human capital kick in and pull your own damn weight.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Snitches get Riches
I hate the "snitches get stitches" slogan. It's redicilous and cowardly for the black community to let criminal and reckless elements in our community run unchecked and unaccountable in honor of some stupid code. We need to stand up to people who commit black on black crime and I have just the slogan to get people on board.
I am officially launching the "snitches get riches" campaign. You can get $5,000 - $25,000 from crimestoppers (510-238-6946) in Oakland for providing information that leads to the arrest of a gunman.
Instead of "stop snitching" t-shirts with the stop sign, I am designing "start snitching" shirts that have a traffic light on green.
What is most ignorant about the common community mantra of stop snitching is that the most revered 'gangstas' and street legends are snitches!
1. The American Gangsta Frank Lucas
2. The top ranking Notenos in California Prison
3. Nikki Barnes
4. 50 Cent
The list goes on...
There is just one problem with the successful implimentation of this campaign: Corrupt Cops. The only problem I have with snitching is that some cops are directly benefitting from the criminal activity through bribes and don't like it when their multiple streams of income get shut off at the spigot and they have to find a new faucet to tap. It's an inconvienience they don't take sitting down and far too often witnesses don't get the protection necessary to convict and they end up a victim as well.
The only way we can get rid of corrupt cops is through honest cops snitching on them. Therefore, internal affairs departments across the country need to offer the same deal for officers that provide infomation that lead to the arrest of crooked cops: CASH. The slogan for this auxillary campaign is "Clean cops get cash". Let's clean the precincts as well as the community and get this campaign off the ground!
Who's with me?
I am officially launching the "snitches get riches" campaign. You can get $5,000 - $25,000 from crimestoppers (510-238-6946) in Oakland for providing information that leads to the arrest of a gunman.
Instead of "stop snitching" t-shirts with the stop sign, I am designing "start snitching" shirts that have a traffic light on green.
What is most ignorant about the common community mantra of stop snitching is that the most revered 'gangstas' and street legends are snitches!
1. The American Gangsta Frank Lucas
2. The top ranking Notenos in California Prison
3. Nikki Barnes
4. 50 Cent
The list goes on...
There is just one problem with the successful implimentation of this campaign: Corrupt Cops. The only problem I have with snitching is that some cops are directly benefitting from the criminal activity through bribes and don't like it when their multiple streams of income get shut off at the spigot and they have to find a new faucet to tap. It's an inconvienience they don't take sitting down and far too often witnesses don't get the protection necessary to convict and they end up a victim as well.
The only way we can get rid of corrupt cops is through honest cops snitching on them. Therefore, internal affairs departments across the country need to offer the same deal for officers that provide infomation that lead to the arrest of crooked cops: CASH. The slogan for this auxillary campaign is "Clean cops get cash". Let's clean the precincts as well as the community and get this campaign off the ground!
Who's with me?
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Refined tastes
I was bathing my son Cameron this evening and I had a thought: Why are babies picky eaters when presented with freshly pureed organic fruits and vegetables yet they never pass up a chance to put a soapy wet washcloth in their mouth or suck on a dusty rock at the park? Hmmm.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Customer Disservice
Why does it only take seconds to sign up for something but 20 minutes (on hold for 15 of them) to cancel?
We got the NY Times but quickly got fed up with their racist slant. Their obit on Bernie Mack was offensive as well as numerous articles with a not so subtle conservative tint. One other observation: Why do all the pictures of Afganistan, Iraq, and Palestinian victims of violence have the caption "Afgan woman or Palestinian boy"? Meanwhile, every single picture of an Israeli victim will have their first and last name and usually show a picture of a grieving family member too.
Anyway, I call the "help desk" (a misnomer by all accounts) and cancel my monday - friday subscription immediately.
The woman asks: "For what reason are you canceling your subscription?"
I reply: "Because the paper is racist. All the articles, racist in tone, slant and context. I don't want any part of it let alone PAY for it."
The woman then says: "Would you like to just get the Sunday edition?"
Pause
(Did she really just ask that?)
I reply: "I said the paper is racist. I don't want to read it on the weekend, during the week, on holidays, in a box with a fox, eating green eggs and ham."
The woman replys (after putting me on hold): "very well, your subscription will end September 11."
My reply (in my head because verbally I might use a curse word): "Today is September 9th. Since when does "immediately" take 48 hours? Whatever. RIP Bernie!"
We got the NY Times but quickly got fed up with their racist slant. Their obit on Bernie Mack was offensive as well as numerous articles with a not so subtle conservative tint. One other observation: Why do all the pictures of Afganistan, Iraq, and Palestinian victims of violence have the caption "Afgan woman or Palestinian boy"? Meanwhile, every single picture of an Israeli victim will have their first and last name and usually show a picture of a grieving family member too.
Anyway, I call the "help desk" (a misnomer by all accounts) and cancel my monday - friday subscription immediately.
The woman asks: "For what reason are you canceling your subscription?"
I reply: "Because the paper is racist. All the articles, racist in tone, slant and context. I don't want any part of it let alone PAY for it."
The woman then says: "Would you like to just get the Sunday edition?"
Pause
(Did she really just ask that?)
I reply: "I said the paper is racist. I don't want to read it on the weekend, during the week, on holidays, in a box with a fox, eating green eggs and ham."
The woman replys (after putting me on hold): "very well, your subscription will end September 11."
My reply (in my head because verbally I might use a curse word): "Today is September 9th. Since when does "immediately" take 48 hours? Whatever. RIP Bernie!"
Monday, September 8, 2008
The best jobs in the world
As the anticipation builds for the 2008 general election, my thoughts have taken a turn from the Obama/McCain incessant banter. I am thinking about all the other leaders of the world and who has the best job. I mean, president of the United States of America sounds real nice and important, especially with the commonly used title "leader of the free world". We all assume, what could possibly be a better job than that? Well I'll tell you. The job has a lot of drawbacks. I'm not just talking about the complete and total loss of privacy and constant threat of being assasinated. I am talking about some more practical drawbacks like having to answer to 300,000,000 people. That's a lot of critics. Too many people to please or piss off if you ask me. Too many people to be responsible for and too little resources to do it! The federal budget is chump change compared to the social and structural problems in America and what it would take to fix them all. Broken health care, soaring unemployment, worthless public education system, growing poverty, it's a sinking ship. Therefore I have been thinking about who has a better job and why and this is what I came up with:
3. The Amir of Qatar, Shaikh Hamad Bin Khalifa Al-Thani. He's not the leader of the free world, he's the leader of a country that is less than 12,000 square kilometers with a population of less that 1,000,000 and the countries natural resources (oil) produces a solid 800,000 barrels a DAY. You do the math. Those billions provide free health care, state of the art schools, the worlds most beautiful parks and museums and the richest middle class in the world. Drawbacks: Strict religious rule. Minor detail. So it's not the most democratic state in the world. Can't have it all.
2. President of Georgia, Mikheil Saakashvili. Again , president of a very small country with relatively few people and yet buddy buddy with Washington elite and poised to get 1,000,000,000 (1 billion) in aid from the U.S. (tax free, interest free gift, no loan) AND they have a pipeline. However the best thing abou that job is the country apparently has a 100% literacy rate, the best in the world. Because you are reading this blog, I assume that it is obvious why this is a good thing. Drawback: Russia has 50 nuclear warheads pointed at his house from about 3 football fields away. Sounds a lot worse than it really is.
1. And lastly, the best job in the world is..... drum roll........ vice president of the united states! You still get a limo, a jet, and the best retirement ever. Sure you can try to actually be president and get in all kinds of trouble like Cheney but if you just kick back and enjoy all those state dinners and diplomatic trips, it's a wonderful ride! You get all the prestige and none of the real responsibility. There's no real job description. You are waiting for someone who has the best security in the world and the best health care plan in the world to die. In the meantime, you get to kick it just like the president of the U.S. but without the burden of making the decisions that will piss millions of people off... every day. Sweet deal! Seriously, you ever notice that Biden and Palin smile a lot more than Obama and McCain? They are smiling thinking; "I still don't really know what the hell a VP does but I love this job already!"
3. The Amir of Qatar, Shaikh Hamad Bin Khalifa Al-Thani. He's not the leader of the free world, he's the leader of a country that is less than 12,000 square kilometers with a population of less that 1,000,000 and the countries natural resources (oil) produces a solid 800,000 barrels a DAY. You do the math. Those billions provide free health care, state of the art schools, the worlds most beautiful parks and museums and the richest middle class in the world. Drawbacks: Strict religious rule. Minor detail. So it's not the most democratic state in the world. Can't have it all.
2. President of Georgia, Mikheil Saakashvili. Again , president of a very small country with relatively few people and yet buddy buddy with Washington elite and poised to get 1,000,000,000 (1 billion) in aid from the U.S. (tax free, interest free gift, no loan) AND they have a pipeline. However the best thing abou that job is the country apparently has a 100% literacy rate, the best in the world. Because you are reading this blog, I assume that it is obvious why this is a good thing. Drawback: Russia has 50 nuclear warheads pointed at his house from about 3 football fields away. Sounds a lot worse than it really is.
1. And lastly, the best job in the world is..... drum roll........ vice president of the united states! You still get a limo, a jet, and the best retirement ever. Sure you can try to actually be president and get in all kinds of trouble like Cheney but if you just kick back and enjoy all those state dinners and diplomatic trips, it's a wonderful ride! You get all the prestige and none of the real responsibility. There's no real job description. You are waiting for someone who has the best security in the world and the best health care plan in the world to die. In the meantime, you get to kick it just like the president of the U.S. but without the burden of making the decisions that will piss millions of people off... every day. Sweet deal! Seriously, you ever notice that Biden and Palin smile a lot more than Obama and McCain? They are smiling thinking; "I still don't really know what the hell a VP does but I love this job already!"
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