Now you can get a job slangin' for the DEA! No not selling drugs, but as a translator of black english, also know as ebonics. They are hiring interpreters for 114 different dialects, and decided to throw in slang as well.
One of the many ironies of this is that several years ago, the Oakland school board attempted to acknowledge ebonics formally in an effort to make english classes better able to translate ebonics to "proper english". To put it simply, how can you translate a language (ebonics to english) if you don't recognize the language you are translating?? (ebonics) Anyway, the entire country, including Bill Cosby and Jesse Jackson, totally dismissed the effort, completely misunderstanding the proposals intention. (no thanks to the media mischaracterization: can you say Shirley Sherrod?)
Now, the federal government in their supreme wisdom figure out that they need to formally translate ebonics to english in sting operations so they can make even more drug arrests of black men (as if the disproportinate number of blacks being sent to prison is not quite where it should and could be).
The irony of all ironies:
Translating ebonics for black kids in Oakland so they can learn proper english = very bad idea.
Trnaslating ebonics for DEA agents so they can incarcerate larger numbers of black men = great idea!
WTF???
Besides the issue of not working for the "Man" to further target and oppress black males for a drug policy that is racist and misguided (alcohol related deaths outnumber ALL illicit drugs combined as well as drug realted killings! Research that for yourself!), primarily targeting and criminalizing users instead of offering prevention and treatment....
...this is actually hella funny. (translation: very funny)
Try to imagine what the interview process would look like:
interviewer: "so tell me some slang?"
applicant: "Mutha#*&, you best hook me up with this gig b'foe I bust you in yo grill"
interviewer: "ohhh, that's good. What did you say?"
applicant: "I said that I'm very qualified and confident that I am a perfect fit for the job..."
and what would the resume say:
"Attended dozens of sideshows in 2010, participating in numerous dice games."
"Can text message 90 abbreviated words per minute"
"Currently have over 2500 myspace friends, 1900 facebook friends, and 1200 followers on twitter."
"Unemployed for 2 years, hanging on the block most days."
And then let's visualize this "translators" first day at work:
"Sooo, T Money, did I say that correct?"
"No it's C CASH."
"Right right, C cash... this is your cubicle...here's your headset... and let me introduce you to the team... Bill and Laura, I want you to welcome C cash. He's our new interpreter for the drug survellance unit...
Hi C cash! (looking at their ebonics cheat sheet). "What's the dilley yo?" (chuckle) Did I get it right?!
This is all a hot mess.
